Skepticism and Speculation

I convoluted the meaning of these two words on Monday. Skepticism is the art of doubt and lack of certainty. Speculation is the ability to create hypotheticals or suppositions. Two words which are not similar, but can fall parallel to each other in the right situation. Unfortunately, it was not a good time to get the two words intertwined with one another as I was writing in an exam. Fortunately, I was able to interchange ‘skepticism’ with the accepted word, ‘speculation,’ without any dilemmas. That got me thinking, (in the middle of the exam) how can I replace the two words with one another, without any negative consequences? That’s when I noticed how connected these two words actually are and that I experience a cycle of skepticism and speculation every day. There are a few problems with skepticism and speculation. You don’t, as my nana would say, “crack on like a house on fire.” You really just loop yourself around yourself and chase yourself, like your best friend, who is a dog, chases its tail. Maybe, dogs are trying to tell us something? 

But, skepticism is the foundation of me. I am doubtful and I am uncertain of all things, including myself. Because I am doubtful, I speculate. All the time. I begin to speculate myself. So much so, that I have re-read all of the five posts I have written so far. Maybe, I am just reflecting, or maybe I am trying to gain a new perspective on my already made perspective… 

And then I doubt myself. It’s a cycle.  I do not like this particular part of creating. The part, where you get so involved with the idea of ‘perfection’ that you neglect the original purpose of your work. Well, you can only have a purpose to an extent… because after the extent, and at the end of the cycle of every day and of our life, we are still faced with the question of ‘what is the absolute purpose of …?’

And post all of the doubt and self-loath,

And creation and destruction

And after every moment of speculation I say, “but if no one knows the purpose, then why do I care so much?” 

And then I write! (or I paint)

And that is the cycle of my life, 

And probably many other’s




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